About Russia

I havn't changed my mind from yesterday's blog. I'm still pretty mad. Mad at the male population in general.

But for clarity about Paul, Jesus, and Salvation, I feel the need to elaborate my thoughts.
Because of my upbringing and history, I feel most assume I am very religious. I'm not really in the present time. I still have to deal with religious debates sometimes, even though I do not consider myself a serious or devout Christian.
Yes, the bible has a verse in Corinthians that talks about Christ and the church being compared to a marriage. As Christ would lay his life down for his church, a husband would lay his life down for his wife. There have been songs, preachings, and teachings about this. I can't provide references now, but I've heard many people talk about the religious idea.
My last two blogs have been about sacreligion.
I see how there is the possibility of misunderstanding someone and being held accountable for a religious conversation I had that happened a long time ago.
I think because of life experience and being in a different frame of mind that has developed through my life span, I didn't make the connection as I would have before. A lot of my anger is against systematic thinking. It is against human trafficking. It is against Hindu ways of coupling up and getting married where the woman is the most subject being in most cases dealing with different levels of lack of control and degradation.
Even when I went to school at ORU, a private faith-based Christian university, I still had an issue with the system and still felt subjected to a lack of control. There were actual teachers that taught to empower women, pursue an education, and in their own way, promote modern day feminism. They talked it, but in my judgement I don't think they walked it. The main goal and emphasis of the university wasn't necessarily about female empowerment, but still, I think it should have been more fairly examined when issues arose.
Back to the thought of Christ dying for the church. In the particular place, I have a hard time coming to a conclusion on the matter. First off, what if I am systematically wrong? What if it is just a representation of an idea that a statistic of men could agree on and I don't know where I'm really being trafficked to?
I don't want to disregard the scripture. I think I have probably had a lot of emotional times in hearing songs in preachings about Christ dying for the church; a man laying his life down for his wife. It isn't an easy task. It isn't something that should be callously thought of. It is something that the wife should treasure and feel an unfathomable love.
After seeing some reactions, I can't be mean or rude anymore.
However, I still feel blinded. Even though it comes from a Christian heart and perspective, it still feels Hindu to me with the way it is being carried out. The sky is the limit these days in assuming what the expectations of relationships and marriages are to different people. What really defines it with some people?
My expectations are that I want to date and get to know a person before I'm married. I don't like the idea of uncertainty and that even though something is done out of the goodness of their heart, I really don't know them.
To be considerate to the man, even if it is heartbreaking, how would he feel if he knew the wife was only marrying him because she felt obligated to after he layed down his life for her?
I think it would hurt more for him if he knew it was done out of obligation and she may not even want him. Doesn't he want to feel loved and appreciated? Doesn't he ever wonder if there was a such thing as having a mutual love? Doesn't he feel he deserves to be loved?
Most ideas are pretty vague in with who I'm being specific with. Like I said, I feel blinded. If there really has been someone who is laying their life down for me, I don't know who that person really is. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the system and trafficking. I believe in courtship and dating which is getting to know someone before making a serious decision of marriage.